Bad Moustaches
Posted by: Coxinator
You’re walking down the street trying to appreciate your coffee (that you walked an extra 6 blocks for because the nearest fourteen cafes serve crap), when some young art-rocker electro-type bloke offends you by displaying the worst facial hair seen since your Grade Seven school photo.
I blame Brandon Flowers. He sported the ‘tash to show the world once you make it big, you can do anything and people will call it fashionable. So now we have these young, mopey Gen Y duderinos all sporting supremely hideous upper lips. It gives me the stiff upper lip.
It’s been around since 300 BC apparently but wandering the streets I see there’s no homage to our ‘tash icons. No Tom Selleck Magnum PI ‘tash, nor the Errol Flynn pencil or even the Adolf/Chaplin toothbrush. If you’re going to grow a moustache, please ensure that:
- 1.You have adequate ability to grow coarse facial hair and not bumfluff
- 2.Your facial hair is not seven shades lighter than your head hair
- 3.It has a distinct style (eg. the handlebar) rather than freestyle
In fact one might say appropriate penalty for such a bad moustache would be to play “Poontash”, a game whereby one’s older brother wipes his middle finger on a rather fragrant part of his anatomy and proceeds to rub it across the upper lip of the younger brother (Props to Rhys Hurst for making me aware of this game).
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August 13th, 2009 at 1:06 am
Dude, Theo Walcott, someone needs to have a word
April 28th, 2010 at 6:27 am
I say, I say
I walk around with Gillette shaving cream and razor specifically for these kind of people.
May 11th, 2010 at 3:30 am
A mate of mine has actually been persauded by his girlfriend of all people to grow a pathetic, pathetic moustache. He looks like Jedediah Springfield.
May 13th, 2010 at 9:37 am
But can it beat this one Jack?